Thursday, April 14, 2005
Excellent post!
This post- I picked it up (couldnt resist it!!) from our senior Gowri's blog: gowriwrites.blogspot.com. (Heck! after the amount of notes, records, textbooks that we begged, loaned and forgot to return ;o) from our seniors, this was a breeze!) This aptly describes our 4 years in college!
Thinking of College…….
Lectures:
Cows and Bulls, Hangman, Listen intermittently, Giggle, Nod when you meet the lecturer’s gaze.
Labs:
Data sheets – the only thing that costs 25 ps a piece and still no one buys them.
PK supervises connection: “This wire will goes to here aa?”
Copy graphs; also the Aim, Apparatus, Theory, Procedure and Result! And….Inference!
Mass bunk:
Indefinite suspension. Enter HOD’s room. Get blasted for an hour. Blame lecturers. Classes resume.
Two days before internals:
Ask for important questions.
Day before internals:
Beg for important questions. PK gives seven. Shamelessly ask for the most important five.
Internals:
Blue books – sometimes empty, sometimes full. (Before the test I mean!)
First year: Study a week before internals.
Second year: A day before internals.
Third year: During the interval between two internals.
Fourth year: Study? What study?
Three types of people: Those who copy. Those who help others copy. Those who sit in the first bench and do not participate in such activities.
Internal Results:
One whole period wonderfully spent. Bargain for marks. Complete chaos.
Study Holidays:
Krishna Xerox: Bump into school mates you didn’t want to meet.
“I heard the exams are getting postponed”. “Who told you?” “No one, I just heard”!!!!
Exams are on schedule. Mug, mug, mug. I mean “mugs” of coffee!
Day of the exam:
Cram in the bus stop, in the bus, on the walk to the department, outside the exam hall.
“Please check your pockets desks and other places (!!). If you are found to have chits, you will be debarred for three years only” Three years ONLY??
Semester Holidays:
One week breather between semesters.
Results:
Pass. Fail. Revaluation.
Yet another semester……..
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Sob!! Hehehe- cant help doing that, I love exaggerating stuff!
Btw , Ambar, what's happening to you? TCS taking too much of your time ;o)? Never see you online these days. You havent updated your blog for ages. Got bored of it? Passing fad, huh?
The weather is heavenly at this time, and I'll quit right now before the weather gets to me and I start doling out crap here. Take care, ppl and keep the faith!
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
The Friday Rain
The rain brought more confidence in him and a better sense of urgency. He politely asked her for the time. She gave a smiling look at his ticking watch and told the time. She must have told the time to hundreds of such guys with their watces working perfectly. But he was elated. With the confidence of a s/w engineer, he introduced himself along with his company name. She just told her name and gave that charming smile. This was all he needed. He decided to offer her a drop till her house( or whereever she wanted o go!!)everything!!!. As he was thinking this, the girl took a call on her cellphone and took the call. Minutes later came a Ford ikon from which a guy got down and spoke to the girl in a humble voice. She introduced to our protogonist her boyfriend and would-be and gave him the marriage invitation.
And it suddenly stopped raining....
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Important message to all teetotallers...
WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN MILK
The scientific evidence is conclusive: Beer in moderation is good for you, while even one glass of milk supports animal abuse and harms your health," says PETA's Director of Vegan Outreach Bruce Friedrich. "You can drink beer responsibly, but the same can't be said of milk."
United States Department of Agriculture Nutritional Data for Milk and Beer
|
I think he forgot to mention about the fertilizers and pesticides present in milk
Friday, February 25, 2005
Survival of mankind rides on the successful pickup line
This classic Dave Barry column was originally published on Sept. 26, 1999. Read on...
So I was at this party, and I wound up at a table where three attractive
single women were complaining about - Surprise! - men. Specifically, they
were complaining about the pickup lines that had been used on them in a bar
a few nights earlier.
One woman said: ''This guy comes up to me and says, 'Are you a teacher?' I
mean, is that supposed to be romantic?''
All three women rolled all six of their eyes.
Another one of them said: ''This guy says to me, 'I've been looking at you
all night!' So I go, 'Hel-LO, we just GOT here.'''
At this point all three women - and I want to stress that these are
intelligent, nice women - were laughing. Not me. I was feeling bad for the
guys.
I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure,
such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and a
crippling, psychotic obsession with shoe color. Also, females tend to reach
emotional maturity very quickly, so that by age 7 they are no longer capable
of seeing the humor in loud inadvertent public blasts of flatulence, whereas
males can continue to derive vast enjoyment from this well into their 80s.
So I grant that it is not easy being a female. But I contend that nature has
given males the heaviest burden of all: the burden of always having to Make
the First Move, and thereby risk getting Shot Down. I don't know WHY males
get stuck with this burden, but it's true throughout the animal kingdom.
If you watch the nature shows on the Discovery Channel, you'll note that
whatever species they are talking about - birds, crabs, spiders, clams
it is ALWAYS the male who has to take the initiative. It's always the male bird
who does the courting dance, making a total moron of himself, while the
female bird just stands there, looking aloof, thinking about what she's
going to tell her girlfriends. (''And then he hopped around on one foot!
Like I'm supposed to be impressed by THAT!'').
Male insects have it the worst. The Discovery Channel announcer is always
saying things like: ''After the mating, the female mantis bites off the male
mantis' head, and then she and her girlfriend mantises use it to play a game
that looks a lot like Skee Ball.''
Because I live in Florida, my patio is basically a giant singles bar for
lizards. On any given day during mating season, I'll see dozens of male
lizards out there making their most suave lizard move, which consists of
inflating and deflating a red pouch under their chins. They seem to think
that female lizards really go for a guy with a big chin pouch, but I have
never once, in 14 years of close observation, seen a female respond.
They just squat there looking bored, while all around them males are blinking on
and off like defective warning lights.
Every now and then you'll see an offbeat TV news story about some animal,
usually a moose, that has for some reason fallen in love with, and decided
to relentlessly court, something totally inappropriate, such as a lawn
tractor. This animal is ALWAYS a male. On the TV, they show it hanging
around the lawn tractor with a big, sad, moony look, totally smitten, while
the lawn tractor cruelly ignores it.
My point here is that, in matters of the heart, males have the brains of a
walnut. No, wait! That is not my point. My point is that perhaps you women
could cut us males a little bit of slack in the move-making process, because
we are under a lot of stress. I vividly remember when I was in 10th grade,
and I wanted to call a girl named Patty and ask her to a dance, and before I
picked up the phone, I spent maybe 28 hours rehearsing exactly what I was
going to say. So when I actually made the call, I was pretty smooth.
''Hello, Dance?'' I said. ''This is Patty. Do you want to go to the Dave
with me?''
Fortunately Patty grasped the basic thrust of my gist and agreed to go to
the dance. This was a good thing, because if she had shot me down, I would
have been so humiliated that I would have never have been able to go back to
school. I would have dropped out of 10th grade and lied about my age and
joined the U.S. armed forces, and as a direct result the Russians would have
won the Cold War.
That is the awesome power that you women have over us men. I hope you
understand this, and the next time a guy walks up and uses some incredibly
lame, boneheaded line on you, I hope that, instead of laughing at him, you
will remember that he is under the intense pressure of wanting to impress
you enough so that you might want to get to know him better and maybe
eventually, perhaps within the next 15 minutes, mate with him, thereby
enabling the survival of the human race, which believe me is the only thing
that we males are truly concerned about.
In conclusion, let me just say to all females everywhere, on behalf of all
males everywhere, that you are very beautiful and your eyes are like two
shining stars, unless you're a female fly, in which case your eyes are more
like 2,038 shining stars. So please give us a chance. And if you're not
interested, could you introduce us to your lawn tractor?
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
IT industry M/F ratio
i-Gate is left out as it has 2 ratios. 1:10 for the boss and 10:1 for others!! ;-)
BTW, Rolta ladies are quite popular, i guess! :)
| Male to Female Ratio Among IT Professionals | |
| Company | M/F Ratio |
| Rolta | 24:1 |
| Mascon Global | 19:1 |
| HCL Infosystems | 12:1 |
| Adobe | 11:1 |
| Datacraft India | 8:1 |
| Digital Globalsoft | 7:1 |
| HCL Technologies | 6:1 |
| Sun Microsystems | 6:1 |
| HP | 5:1 |
| Cadence Design Systems | 5:1 |
| Infosys | 5:1 |
| Kshema Technologies | 4:1 |
| Wipro | 4:1 |
| TCS | 4:1 |
| SAP | 4:1 |
| Hughes Software Systems | 4:1 |
| iFlex | 4:1 |
| Philips | 3:1 |
| Cognizant Technology | 3:1 |
| NIIT | 2:1 |
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
A letter to my Valentine-2005
Dear Luv,
Sorry for being a bit late in replying to your letter.I had forgotten your last name. Still can't rememebr it. It is always a problem if u are surrounded by a lot of girls in hawaiian costumes.
Thinking of hawaii, I cancelled our tickets to goa. I had a chance to visit goa with my lady boss just 2 days ago ( I forgot to tell you ). I dont think that will be an interesting place for you to visit. Too many girls with very few entertainment for you, once I go to the resturant with my friends, leaving you in the hotel room.
Hope you will not mind if I dont send you any flowers or gifts during this valentine. I was actually thinking of sending you some cabbage flowers ( they are really tasty once baked!! ) but I lost half of my savings on horse-racing and the other half on that belly dancing female. Please co-operate this time.
How is your brother? Is he still not cured of twiching eye? Whenever I see him or the other way round, his eyes twitch a lot. I advise you to take him to a good doctor. By doctor I don't mean your father. He cannot distinguish between a human and a house rat.I am sure he learnt medicine by seeing the doctors practice inside loony hospital where he was being treated. Well thats an old story.How is your mother? Still trying to reduce her weight from 160kgs to 150kgs?
Please convey my regards to your family. Hope they will appreciate my letters.
Regards,
Your (old??) boyfriend
P.S: I have lost your photograph which you had sent last week. It is somewhere in my closet with lot of other photographs of my old girlfriends. please find it for me when you come down to my place. Sunday will be better as I will be going to a movie with your best friend and you will have the whole house to yourself.
* All situations and characters in this are fictional. All resemblence to any living or dead charater is pure coincedence.
**This is written by me under the influence of alien torture.
***If you are looking for renting out an apartment, this letter may be dangerous!!!(see the post below for more information)
Monday, February 07, 2005
Bachelor...
It was not "someone" who called me a bachelor the first time. It was "something". The white official-looking envelope I received by registered post that day had my degree certificate in it. 'Bachelor of...', it announced in somewhat gaudy letters as I stood smiling. Bachelor!
Till then I was a boy, a brother, a student and whatnot -- but not a bachelor. All of a sudden, that important piece of paper had given me a new identity. I know you are dying to tell me things like 'this bachelor is not that bachelor', but believe me, the very next day my phone rang. It was my real-estate agent, an uneasy reminder to the approaching expiration of the initial company accommodation. "Sir, you are a bachelor, are you not?"
"Sorry sir. The owner is not willing to give the house to bachelors. But don't worry, sir, I have many other houses. You see..."
But...
Oh heck, there's my telephone. I think it is my real-estate agent again.
Monday, January 31, 2005
Specifications!!
8.5 inches. That is an exceptionally odd number.
Now, why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in
England, and the U.S. Railroads were built by English expatriates. Why
did the English build them that way? Because the first rail lines were
built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's
the gauge they used. Why did "they" use that gauge then? Because the
people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they
used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
So why did the wagons have that particular odd spacing? Well, if they
tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of
the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the spacing of
the wheel ruts.
So, who built those old rutted roads? The first long distance roads in
Europe (and England) were built by Imperial Rome for their legions.
The roads have been used ever since. And the ruts in the roads?The ruts
in the roads, which everyone had to match for fear of destroying their
wagon wheels, were first formed by Roman war chariots. Since the
chariots were made for (or by) Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the
matter of wheel spacing. The U.S. standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5
inches derives from the original specification for an Imperial Roman war
chariot.
Specifications and bureaucracies live forever.
So, the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse's
ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial
Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back
end of two war horses. Thus we have the answer to the original question.
Now the twist to the story... When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its
launch pad, there are two booster rockets attached to the side of the
main fuel tank. These are Solid Rocket Boosters or SRBs. The SRBs are
made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the
SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to
be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad
line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The
tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track
is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, the major design feature of
what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was
determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass!!!
Don't you just love engineering?
--
Disclaimer: Any errors/misstakes in spilling, glamour, tact, or fact are
transmission errors
Thursday, January 13, 2005
my experiences in the US
feels great to be mailing you all back after a long time. this is the first part of my long journey to the promised land.so on the night of the 24th of December left home for the last time for the next 2-3 years and landed at the airport to check in. said bye to a few friends outside the airport and went in and had just checked in my luggage when kow and mama arrived outside. felt great to see those guyz and had a talk with them and i was pretty nervous and also took a few snaps with them at the airport. i then proceeded to immigration and completed those formalities also.
then around 4:00 boarded the flight and the dlight firdt landed at mumbai. we were made to wait there for 2:30 hours already a delay of 1:30 hours and left mumbai at 8:00 am. india had shown its true colours and this delay almost proved me costly as to be explained later.then from there it was an 8 hour flight to frankfurt and on board slept a lot,watched kal ho na ho and listened to some music. food was pretty good on air india.reached frankfurt waited for around 45 minutes and then boarded the flight and we left for chicago. this was a 9 hour journey. this tme they played fida and towars us we filled out some customs and immigration forms. landed in chicago at 5:00 instead of 4:00. the e1 hour delay thanks to mumbai airport.
soon as we landed rushed to immigration counters,i was luckily in the middle of the plane . there was around 200 people in front of me that day. so when my tun came got the i20 and i94 stamped and pinned to passport. by the time i checked in my luggage to united airways for my connecting flight my flight had left. so got a confirmation for the 26th i.e next day and went to air india counter and got my free hotel accomodation and dinner passes and boarded the shuttle service to Ramada Inn the hotel where i was put up.
to be continud later

